What Do I Want?
The answer to that question has always been "I want to lose weight!" It has been the answer since I was about 7 years old, and the pediatrician told my mother that she might want to stop giving me biscuits and jelly...…..in front of me. I have felt fat ever since, and even though I have always been overweight, I was never all that FAT. Society and doctors and BOYS always made me feel as if I would have plenty of dates and likes and good jobs if only I would lose weight. There may be something to that, and unfortunately, that thought process exists in so many areas of our society today, even as we "strive" to be more compassionate in a world that really isn't. I have gained and lost and gained and lost and gained and gained and gained throughout most of my adult life, and I find myself at 55 years of age (on the back end of that in fact) and weighing more than I have ever weighed except when I was pregnant and stopped weighing. I have been on every diet imaginable and was sitting here contemplating my next round of Keto/Low Carb when I had an epiphany. I have had this epiphany more than once in the past few weeks, but this time, my epiphany came in the form of a video that was posted on FB by Netflix who is now streaming Eat Pray Love.
Apparently, the first clip is in Italian (?). Sorry!
This. This is what I want. I want to be able to go into a famous restaurant and eat the best foods of all types without worrying about the calories or the carbs, or the weight I may put on. Of course, I am a few steps ahead of Julia in that I am severely obese, so I definitely need to lose weight so that I don't have to go buy a bigger pair of jeans, but why can't I do both? Why can't I have the best foods (clean, healthy, fresh), to enjoy and still find a way to lose weight? Why can't all of us? Why does losing weight mean counting carbs, fat, calories, etc? These past few days, I was in Orange Beach with my husband who had a conference, and I took along some food to eat while he was in sessions, because we are trying to curb our spending and I just didn't need to go out for every meal. Plus, we had scored a great parking spot close to the building, and leaving to go eat somewhere would have been parking lot suicide. So, I brought along some fresh baked sourdough because it is the best bread ever, some homemade apple butter that was delicious, some hummus, table grapes, cucumber, peanut butter, jelly and homemade guac. I had the best breakfasts and lunches, but only when I was actually craving something to eat. Why eat when I am not hungry? That makes no sense at all to me. I am not saying that I am formally doing intermittent fasting. That is a diet and I am just tired of the dieting. I am just saying why not eat when I am hungry? Also, when I eat, why not eat clean healthy items most of the time? That way, when I want to have delicious pizza, I can have it. But only the best pizza. No offense to any of the chain pizza joints, but that is not the best pizza. I want pizza that has quality ingredients. There is nothing better than a good quality margherita pizza. Nothing. Okay, pineapple on pizza is pretty darn good as I have stated recently in another blog, but only when it is fresh and plentiful. Also, I may have more than one piece of it, because reheated pizza just is not the same, especially when your only method of reheating is the microwave. Honestly, food should never be reheated in the microwave.
When we went out to dinner after the sessions had ended, I ordered good food without thinking of the macros, or how many pounds I might gain. I can't go to Cosmos or Louisiana Lagniappe every day, so why not get the best meals when I do get to go? I ate delicious seafood at both restaurants, because I do want to eat less meat, and more veggies. I am not going vegetarian or vegan by any means, but there is a new movement of flexitarians out there, and that looks right up my alley. What that means is that I can still have the occasional steak. I just won't have it on a daily basis. I can also have chicken and pork, but not every day. My diet would mainly be made up of vegetables, and fruit, with some good for me grains, legumes, and fat and some high protein dairy. Also the fish. I am not a huge fish eater, but I am not sure why that is, because it takes no time at all to cook it and I like it. I just have to find the right recipes and techniques, and pay attention to the mercury content. I am also fed up with the fake out foods, with a few exceptions. You know what I mean. Cauliflower EVERYTHING!!! I don't mind cauliflower. It is good roasted, steamed, raw, etc. I just don't want my pizza crust made of it. I don't want cauliflower bagels. While I am at it, I also don't want those two ingredient bagels talked about at WW meetings all the time. If you don't know what I am talking about, google it. If I want a bagel (which I rarely do), I will eat a bagel. I also am tired of almond and coconut flour. It is not the same!! I am not allergic to gluten. I need to eat less of it, but I am not allergic to it. I do know that it helps a lot of people who would love to have bread but can't eat it. I am not knocking it for anyone but me. I do like zoodles. Veggies made into noodles, because I think they are fine pretending to be pasta, because the taste is not all that different. However, if I am in a fine Italian restaurant, I am eating pasta----real pasta.
Finally, I hate artificial sweeteners. Yes, I know. Stevia is from plants, but I hate it. I also don't like erythritol, although monk fruit is not that terrible. I am a big fan of honey and maple syrup, and I know they are healthy alternatives, as well as coconut sugar. Yes, they are still sugars, and are for the most part not healthy at all, but on occasion, they are good. Also, local honey is a lifesaver to a lot of people who suffer terribly from allergies. How about I just cut back on eating sweets, unless it is something I really enjoy?
I have a lot of weight to lose, and I know what makes me feel better and what makes me feel bloated. Too much of anything makes me miserable, so eating less is idea number one. I have been up since 5:15 this morning, and it wasn't until 11:45 that I had my first bite of something to eat. There is nothing wrong with a growling stomach. I am not going to die of starvation. I just need to listen closely to my body and feed it good healthy food when it wants it. Tomorrow morning, I may wake up wanting something to eat immediately. If that happens, I will eat.
Idea number two is to move more. I have been dealing with knee issues, but think that I have finally found a magic solution that will enable me to get more exercise without becoming obsessed with it. Food is the number one component to being a healthy weight, and I am not a healthy weight because I have had an unhealthy relationship with it for most of my life. Exercise helps us live longer, because it makes our bodies stronger. The two can work together beautifully.
Hey, I am not sure what this is going to look like for me. I am a binge eater, so there is going to be some trial and error, but I am tired of my life revolving around what I CAN'T have. It is time to eat, and to eat well.
Apparently, the first clip is in Italian (?). Sorry!
This. This is what I want. I want to be able to go into a famous restaurant and eat the best foods of all types without worrying about the calories or the carbs, or the weight I may put on. Of course, I am a few steps ahead of Julia in that I am severely obese, so I definitely need to lose weight so that I don't have to go buy a bigger pair of jeans, but why can't I do both? Why can't I have the best foods (clean, healthy, fresh), to enjoy and still find a way to lose weight? Why can't all of us? Why does losing weight mean counting carbs, fat, calories, etc? These past few days, I was in Orange Beach with my husband who had a conference, and I took along some food to eat while he was in sessions, because we are trying to curb our spending and I just didn't need to go out for every meal. Plus, we had scored a great parking spot close to the building, and leaving to go eat somewhere would have been parking lot suicide. So, I brought along some fresh baked sourdough because it is the best bread ever, some homemade apple butter that was delicious, some hummus, table grapes, cucumber, peanut butter, jelly and homemade guac. I had the best breakfasts and lunches, but only when I was actually craving something to eat. Why eat when I am not hungry? That makes no sense at all to me. I am not saying that I am formally doing intermittent fasting. That is a diet and I am just tired of the dieting. I am just saying why not eat when I am hungry? Also, when I eat, why not eat clean healthy items most of the time? That way, when I want to have delicious pizza, I can have it. But only the best pizza. No offense to any of the chain pizza joints, but that is not the best pizza. I want pizza that has quality ingredients. There is nothing better than a good quality margherita pizza. Nothing. Okay, pineapple on pizza is pretty darn good as I have stated recently in another blog, but only when it is fresh and plentiful. Also, I may have more than one piece of it, because reheated pizza just is not the same, especially when your only method of reheating is the microwave. Honestly, food should never be reheated in the microwave.
When we went out to dinner after the sessions had ended, I ordered good food without thinking of the macros, or how many pounds I might gain. I can't go to Cosmos or Louisiana Lagniappe every day, so why not get the best meals when I do get to go? I ate delicious seafood at both restaurants, because I do want to eat less meat, and more veggies. I am not going vegetarian or vegan by any means, but there is a new movement of flexitarians out there, and that looks right up my alley. What that means is that I can still have the occasional steak. I just won't have it on a daily basis. I can also have chicken and pork, but not every day. My diet would mainly be made up of vegetables, and fruit, with some good for me grains, legumes, and fat and some high protein dairy. Also the fish. I am not a huge fish eater, but I am not sure why that is, because it takes no time at all to cook it and I like it. I just have to find the right recipes and techniques, and pay attention to the mercury content. I am also fed up with the fake out foods, with a few exceptions. You know what I mean. Cauliflower EVERYTHING!!! I don't mind cauliflower. It is good roasted, steamed, raw, etc. I just don't want my pizza crust made of it. I don't want cauliflower bagels. While I am at it, I also don't want those two ingredient bagels talked about at WW meetings all the time. If you don't know what I am talking about, google it. If I want a bagel (which I rarely do), I will eat a bagel. I also am tired of almond and coconut flour. It is not the same!! I am not allergic to gluten. I need to eat less of it, but I am not allergic to it. I do know that it helps a lot of people who would love to have bread but can't eat it. I am not knocking it for anyone but me. I do like zoodles. Veggies made into noodles, because I think they are fine pretending to be pasta, because the taste is not all that different. However, if I am in a fine Italian restaurant, I am eating pasta----real pasta.
Finally, I hate artificial sweeteners. Yes, I know. Stevia is from plants, but I hate it. I also don't like erythritol, although monk fruit is not that terrible. I am a big fan of honey and maple syrup, and I know they are healthy alternatives, as well as coconut sugar. Yes, they are still sugars, and are for the most part not healthy at all, but on occasion, they are good. Also, local honey is a lifesaver to a lot of people who suffer terribly from allergies. How about I just cut back on eating sweets, unless it is something I really enjoy?
I have a lot of weight to lose, and I know what makes me feel better and what makes me feel bloated. Too much of anything makes me miserable, so eating less is idea number one. I have been up since 5:15 this morning, and it wasn't until 11:45 that I had my first bite of something to eat. There is nothing wrong with a growling stomach. I am not going to die of starvation. I just need to listen closely to my body and feed it good healthy food when it wants it. Tomorrow morning, I may wake up wanting something to eat immediately. If that happens, I will eat.
Idea number two is to move more. I have been dealing with knee issues, but think that I have finally found a magic solution that will enable me to get more exercise without becoming obsessed with it. Food is the number one component to being a healthy weight, and I am not a healthy weight because I have had an unhealthy relationship with it for most of my life. Exercise helps us live longer, because it makes our bodies stronger. The two can work together beautifully.
Hey, I am not sure what this is going to look like for me. I am a binge eater, so there is going to be some trial and error, but I am tired of my life revolving around what I CAN'T have. It is time to eat, and to eat well.
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